Frank’s father was a fallen away Seventh Day Adventist. His mother a fallen away Baptist. Instead of spending their lives in healthy pursuits and church functions, Franks parents loved to party. His mother, who did not work except at fun, would have a martini at lunch and then golf. His father, an insurance executive, would have 2 martinis at lunch and then golf with clients. Frank’s parents loved this life style so much that, when Frank was 8, they moved the family to Las Vegas. Party time.
Somehow Frank fell far from the tree. In fact, he seemed to inherit all the guilt his parents might have had if they were not so busy having a ball. Frank wanted to do the right thing. He pressed his own pants for school, studied hard and got straight A’s, kept a neat room with no posters of Led Zeppelin or Frank Zappa on the walls, and generally lived the straight and level. He even joined the Boy Scouts in the mistaken idea that it would be a haven of good behavior. His parents didn’t notice. They were too busy with the community theater production of Bye, Bye, Birdie.
By the time Frank was 15 he was a full blown obsessive compulsive. He went to college and studied chemistry in a perfectly clean dorm room with thick insulation glued to the walls to keep the bad noises out and 3 locks on the door the keep the bad people out. Frank graduated with honors, went to work in the food hygiene business, and lived a life busy with keeping things tidy. Eventually he started his own business, became very successful and lived in an antiseptic modern house with a lot of hard surfaces.
Eventually Frank married Samantha, a fallen away Catholic. He had fallen in love with her because she was, “A handsome woman.” She loved him for his organizational skills and his courteous ways. They lived in a semblance of order and domestic success for many years. But as time passed things changed for Frank. His exceedingly temperate and hygienic life style began to irk Samantha. As a former Catholic High School girl she loved to party, travel, spend time in the woods and the beach, and then party some more. Frank liked to keep things clean and keep his top button buttoned. He wore a tie every day including Sunday while Samantha ran around the house wearing only a smile.
One day Samantha said, “Frank, I am leaving you. You are just no fun.”